Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Another book recommended by a friend, I am being really good at following recommendations this year, which contrary behaviour haha. 

Jumping straight into quotations, there's actually a lot of plot points that stuck out to me since they reminded me of my own experiences but that's too much to get into on a blog post:

Therapy elicits odd reactions because, in a way, it's like pornography. Both involve a kind of nudity. Both have the potential to thrill. And both have millions of users, most of whom keep their use private. Though statisticians have attempted to quantify the number of people in therapy, their results are thought to be skewed because many people who go to therapy choose not to admit it.

People tend to dream without doing, death remains theoretical.

But there's also the reality that as people get older, they face more limitations. It becomes harder to change careers or move to a different city or marry a different person. Their lives are more defined, and sometimes they crave the freedom of youth. But children, bound by parental rules, are really free only in one respect- emotionally. For a while, at least, they can cry or laugh or have tantrums unselfconsciously; they can have big dreams and unedited desires. Like many people my age, I don't feel free because I've lost touch with that emotional freedom. Andthat's what I'm doing here in therapy trying to free myself emotionally again.

The next one reminded me a lot of ES' narration in EW's launch trailer (and hit myself another wave of EW & ES feels, just in time for the EW OST to come out brb going to cry again):

Now I keep in mind that none of us can love and be loved without the possibility of loss but that there's a difference between knowledge and terror.

The specific line in the trailer is: "That which lives is destined to die. Love leads to loss. Every beginning has an end."

The last quotation is particularly relevant right now, one of reason is because I was reminiscing about my past relationships triggered by reading through my highschool yearbook comments.

Sitting with Rita, I was reminded that the heart is just as fragile at seventy as it is at seventeen. The vulnerability, the longing, the passion they're all there in full force. Falling in love never gets old. No matter how jaded you are, how much suffering love has caused you, a new love can't help but make you feel hopeful and alive, like that very first time. Maybe this time it's more grounded you have more experience, you're wiser, you know you have less time -but your heart still leaps when you hear your lover's voice or see that number pop up on your phone. Late-in-life love has the benefit of being especially forgiving, generous, sensitive -and urgent.

If I were to list out a lessons learned for the first three boyfriends I've had, it would be:

1. Don’t like someone for novelty

2. Don’t date someone for novelty

3. Don’t date someone for companionship