coil

It’s been a while since I posted about a tea. I’ve mostly been drinking quasi-gongfu style at work, brewing out of a tall glass bottle. For that style, I prefer ripe puer and cheap yancha in cold weather, and lighter oolongs or white tea in warm weather. This means that my stash of raw puer is pretty much never touched.

However, since I was at my parents house during the holidays where my clay pots are, I dug out an old (opened) sample of a YS bingdao. Since the sample was open, and have been sitting there for years, I had low expectations for the tea and threw the wrapper away before even looking at the year. That was a mistake since this tea is really good.

The first day I brewed very lightly, and was unimpressed. The second day, being left with a big chunk of tea that’s not big enough to further split into two servings, I brewed heavily and was rewarded with really nice 回甜 (not sure if I chose the right first character 😅, it’s the returning sweetness after you swallow the tea). Since I used so much leaf, the tea lasted until the third day, and had a predominating dried fruit flavour. There also wasn’t much bitterness during the second day, although it left an astringent feeling in your mouth along with the sweetness.

Black Friday Results

I'm not sure why I focus on clothing, and to a lesser extend cosmetics, during Black Friday and all the shopping days around these couple of months, since electronics and appliances probably have better deals. But I did buy quite a few pieces this year.

The most surprising of which (to everyone but me) is a dress that I intend to wear for my wedding. I was not careful and called it a wedding dress to the first few people I told and that caused some confusion. I'm proud that it costs less than $200, which means I can order more Lady M cakes.

The main order I made is at Skye, which is an ethical brand that I either discovered /r/ffa or through StyleBee. Skye provides some specifics about how their production is ethical and sustainable, but are lacking in quantifiable claims (eg. what is a living wage, what percent of their cotton is recycled). It also bothers me that they still refer to the Guangzhou region as Canton -_-
I got 2 tops and 2 dresses, one top of which I'm returning since it's way too big. I find that sizing in general for smaller "ethical" brands to be challenging, since the cuts tend to be generous or oversized to begin with, and many brands don't even go down to XS. I've been eying Skye for a while because their cuts tend to have some waist definition (and they have nice prints), so I'm slightly disappointed that one of the top was entirely too big. Even the dresses are not cut or darted to have any curves, but at least I could use the waist belt to adjust the fit. Conversely, I'm quite happy with the material quality. Out of the 4 items, I got one in tencel, two in cotton (but different feel) and one in cotton / linen blend. All of the materials felt durable and substantial, and one of the summer weight cotton does actually feel very crisp and refreshing. The white top was not completely opaque (eg. can clearly see black pants underneath), but it sufficiently covers up a bra. The seams appear well done to my amateur eye. I also like that their clothing uses interesting buttons, makes their statements about "thoughtful design" more believable.
As an aside, I realize I totally do not pay close attention to clothing description / photos when shopping online. I was not aware that some of the pieces had snap buttons, or that one of the dress had an "architectural detail" around the collar. Looks like I didn't learn my lesson from my HOPE boots.

With the total of 3 new clothing pieces, this actually goes over my 10 item limit for 2019. I was originally planning on reducing my limit for 2020 to only 8 new items, so now it's effectively 7. It'll be challenging since I know I'll be tempted by Taobao when I'm in China.

I did also get a Wamsutta bath robe, which is super fluffy. I highly recommend. Apparently it's from the same manufacturer that supplies a high end hotel, but the tag did say made exclusively for Bed Bath & Beyond so unfortunately it's not the exact same robe :(

Chemistry

This book perfectly occupies the uncanny valley to me, it's relatable enough but not 100% so that I can't help not really enjoying reading it (gosh that's a convoluted sentence). I also have a general aversion to reading this subject matter (this being the Asian immigrant experience) despite how much time I spend scrolling through SAT. So sorry to friends that have recommend books on this subject that I probably said I'll add it to my reading list but never actually did.

What I have been interested in reading is about poverty in North America (see the previous post). While I find it fascinating to read about such different experiences and mindsets that occur in such close proximity, I also feel guilty that I have the privilege to only read about these experiences and not have to actually live through them. Like...cultural appropriation? Or like how tourists go see slum settlements. I think guilty is an appropriate reaction, but what bothers me is that it doesn't actually lead to anything else (again see previous post). I'm now more aware of these structural inequalities and doing the exactly same nothing about them. Sure I'll be more conscious of my biases against poor people, but that is hardly impactful. And that's it.

The View From Flyover Country

I forget how this book got on my to-read list years ago, but I am glad I finally got around to reading it. The author admits that the events described in her essays are quite depressing to read about, and unfortunately I just felt bad after reading it but not inspired to actually do anything. I have the vague intention to donate my bonus, but saving for a downpayment is more prominent of a need so that's where the money went. And at the rate Toronto housing prices are trending, it will be a very long time before my bonuses are free to be donated. I also had the vague intention to get something for the homeless lady that I frequently see at the subway station, but was stuck on thinking of what's the most effective small thing I can give. That was enough of a challenge that I also didn't end up doing anything.

Back to the book. One of my favourite themes in the book is about the American mindset that being wealthy is also being morally better:

Mistaking wealth for virtue is a cruelty of our times. [...] Poverty is not a character flaw. Poverty is not emblematic of intelligence. Poverty is lost potential, unheard contributions, silenced voices.

In America, there is little chance at reversal of fortune for those less fortunate. Poverty is a sentence for the crime of existing. Poverty is a denial of rights sold as a character flaw.

When wealth is passed off as merit, bad luck is seen as bad character.

Another standout theme to me is corporate / large organization using charity to divert attention away from structural inequality that they perpetrate or at least benefit from. The first quotation is similar to a FuturePerfect article questioning the morality of donations by billionaires:

Refus[ing] charity while pursuing justice [...] is not a position to condemn. Fiscal stability that relies on gifts is not stability. It is a guarantee of insecurity: income based not on work but on whim. Capricious generosity isn’t not a replacement for a living wage, nor is it a basis for a functioning society. Charity is no substitute for justice.

[Charity] is an investment in the present, not the future. If you value the future - if you value a society where people can imagine their future - work for justice.

Success is not a pathway out of social responsibility

 The last theme I want to highlight describes my reaction, or my lack of reaction, after reading the book:

There is no point in speaking truth to power when power is the only truth. [...] We continue to live in an era of hysterical panic about invented catastrophes a d false reassurances about real catastrophes. [...] We lost accountability and faith in our institutions, and most of all, we lost the outrage that accompanies that loss, because we came to expect it and accept it as normal. The quite acquiescence is, in the end, as damaging as any lie we were told.

You begun to have nostalgia for disappointment, because at least that means you had expectations.

Complaints is often perceived as an alternative to action. Those who complain are criticized as “just complaining,” instead of “actually doing something.” But
For marginalized and stigmatized groups, complaining is the first step in removing the shame from a lifetime of being told one’s problems are unimportant, nonexistent, or even a cause for gratitude. Complaining alerts the world that the problem is a problem. [...]
Long term complaining indicates that a problem is serious and structural, not that it is hopeless and should continue to be ignored.

taxi

I watched Joker some time ago, and it just dawned on me that the plot progression is very much similar to the plot of Crime and Punishment.

Both characters contemplate carrying out the crime at the beginning due to perceived unfairness of society.
Both characters get repeatedly beaten down by life events while having family member(s) to support.
Both characters meet the female lead that offer them some hope and solace.
Both characters "accidentally" commit the crime.
Both characters are pursued by law enforcement, questioned at first and let go, but eventually the law enforcement figures out they are the culprit.
Both characters eventually give in and allows themselves to be arrested.

quail

3 lessons learned from catching the flu last week:

• It feels soooo good to change out of sweat soaked clothes, which surprisingly I've never previously done when I had fevers despite seeing it in anime/manga all the time.
• Nothing taste better than plain congee when sick
• A trick to reduce coughing at night is to hold a cough drop in your mouth. It dissolves slowly enough to last most of the night 

vector

I forget when I more seriously got into credit card points, probably this time last year? I'm proud to say that I did my first redemption for tickets to China next year. It was stressful and not the greatest value, but it does feel great to put previous spending to use.

My first mistake when signing up for the credit cards is not checking who the transfer partners are. I signed up for the Delta card since I thought I was going to be in Atlanta for a while. Then I signed up for the Chase card since it's well regarded overall. And finally the Aeroplane card now that I'm back in Canada. I was naive and thought Chase could transfer to both Delta and Air Canada...but that is not the case. So I was stuck with roughly 80k Chase points, 80k Delta points, and 35k aeroplan points.

My initial plan was to transfer from Chase to Delta and buy round trip business card tickets. This would have worked out since the total was 170k points but alas there's no direct transfer "orz The only way is through Marriott, but it's a 3:1 ratio to Delta which is definitely not worth. Instead I focused on getting a one-way business ticket back through Delta, and redeemed the Chase points through their own reward portal for premium economy tickets there. Unfortunately this meant I only got 1.5x the value of the Chase points, when TPG values then at 2x.

However I was still short ~5000 Delta points. I admired defeat and transferred some Chase points into Marriott. But transferring points takes time, and there was only 2 seats left to redeem. I literally had 3 consecutive nightmares about missing out on the tickets on the day I transferred my points "orz One day passed and my points haven't shown up in my Marriott account. I start panicking more...and decided to calculate if I actually had enough Marriott points to not wait for my transferred Chase points. Turned out I did, so I needlessly slept badly "orz So I transferred my existing Marriott points to Delta, and felt pretty hopeful since the internet said it usually takes less than 24 hours.

Except it didn't. 2 whole days passed and it still didn't show up. On the third day, I looked at a different section of the app and noticed the transfer showed up in recent activity, but not in my total points. I took a gamble and booked the tickets anyways. Except the reservation didn't go through. I ended calling customer service to resolve the issue (turns out it was a backend problem), and finally breathed a sigh of relief.

I tried to calculate the valuation of my Delta points, but the same flight is no longer available. The cheapest business flight on the same day is a ridiculous 6k USD, which equals a crazy 7 cents per point. I highly doubt my flight was that expensive, but I'll stick to the 7 cents to feel better.

haystack

I think this photo could look much better if I had the patience to manually dodge and burn, and also probably a tighter crop:

scan

This photo made me appreciate glass coatings a lot more:

skincare routine: almost 2020

(last update was in Atlanta, and also looking back at my goals for 2019)

My routine has seen some minor changes outside of my core products (marked with *), and I'm quite happy with how it is now. There's not too many steps, but I manage to fit a lot of product types in:

• Cleansing oil (evening only): Kose speedy, I've dug out my limited edition Alice in Wonderland bottle *u* The performance is still my baseline for comparing other cleansing oils to, and so far the only one I like more is Shu's anti-oxi cleansing oil, but the difference is price is too much. I am (slightly) trying to buy more locally (to reduce some carbon emissions, although it's hard to make a blanket statement of this behaviour's impact), so will try Muji's cleansing oil next. 
• Second cleanser (evening only): Hada Labo foaming cleanser*, I do need to buy more refills of this, but it seems like my trusted eBay seller for Hada Labo was/is hospitalized and have put his shop on hiatus :( 
• Acid (evening only, on non-retinoid days): I was using some BHA pads in the summer, but have now switched to using TO's 10% mandelic acid. I find it difficult to notice the effect of acids, actually all actives, until you don't use them. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately, my skin enjoys having lots of actives applied to it, and does respond with better texture.
• First toner: Etude House soon jung toner. this is a new step I introduced for the cooler weather. I wanted a non-hyaluronic acid toner to as the step before so there's more water on my skin for the HA to hold onto. I'm half way through the bottle of EH toner and quite like it. It's very watery and light-weight, doing exactly what I need it to do. I already bought another bottle, but am looking for a cheaper option. 
• HA toner+oil: Hada Labo shirojyun toner* + Komeyu rice oil. Will go back to rosehip seed oil after.
• Moisturizing toner: Laneige cream skin toner. I just ordered this and haven't actually received it yet, but this is intended to save my skin during the freezing temperatures in Jan/Feb.
• Vitamin C (morning only): Melano CC serum, this is my preferred Vit C in cooler weather since the formula is oil-based. I did try Timeless' serum while in Houston and liked it, it smelled fine and didn't oxidize too much when kept in the fridge. I would re-purchase it for warmer weather if it had free shipping in Canada. Instead I got TO's Ascorbyl Tetraisopalmitate due to Gosthamista's good review, specifically that it selectively acts on pigmentation. 
• Essence: Scinic snail essence or Tosowoong tea tree essence during active breakouts, although LGH tea tree essence still reigns supreme. Will be trying Purito's green buffet serum next. 
• Retinol (evening only): TO 0.2% retinol in squalene, so I finally tried a retinoid product! It's only been a month, so there's no results to report. Perhaps my skin texture as improved? The squalene does take a long time to absorb, so I take the change do a little bit of facial massage. It double dose of oil has worked well to prevent my skin from feeling dry so far. Not sure if I'll find a non-oil based retinol for the summer, or just use TO's niacinamide serum.
• Moisturizer: Hada Labo shirojyun milk* I did buy EH's soon jung cica balm just in case my skin is feeling extra dry or irritated.

Total morning steps: 5

Total evening steps: 7

I don't foresee much change to my routine in 2020, aside from trying out Stratia's products the next time black friday rolls around, and trying Hera's moisturizing cushion if a pretty limited edition case comes out.

In terms of goals for the latter half of my 20s, it would primarily be maintenance and secondary be fading hyperpigmentation from the inevitable hormonal breakouts. It seems to take about 5 years to stabilize a major improvement to my skin, I started doing a consistent-dish routine in my late teens, which eventually balanced out my skin's sebum production such that I'd say I now have normal skin with an oily t-zone. But I also had a lot of breakouts which resulted in lots of PIH, uneven skin texture, and "enlarged" pores around my nose. These got resolved in my early 20s when I discovered and consistently used actives. So now it'll be continuing those actives, and starting some non-active anti-aging products (peptides, anti-oxidants), while keeping up the baseline of hydration, anti-inflammatory products, and sun protection. 

sense

I finished sniffing through my Amouage samples, and I feel the hype (not really hype, but good reputation) of the brand is well deserved. All of the fragrances are layered and full bodied, with good projection and longevity.

Amouage Lyric Women
Woah the opening is a heavy, dense floral blend. Very intense but also quite good. 5 minutes in the florals sheer out a little bit and let’s some creamy base through. As more time goes on, the creaminess starts to overtake the floral notes. I pick up some incense notes if I smell really closely. Although the incense note is not individually discernible from a farther distance, it does temper the creaminess into something I enjoy. Overall I like this scent a lot, especially in the cooler weather when I want a cozier floral.

...

Amouage Journey Man
Woah the opening is strong, a sweet and spicy floral with a slightly incense-y wood note. There is a lot going on but every note is also playing nicely with each other. As the scent develops, the woody aspect is gaining more prominence, with the florals falling to a support role. About 10mins in, it is fully an incense-y wood, quite pleasant. Unfortunately I didn’t smell the sichuan pepper in the top notes, which is the whole reason why I got a sample of this. Will try a tester in store with a spray, since I think it’s hard to smell the top notes with the wand format. The projection of this fragrance is very good, I can clearly smell it an arms length away. A swipe of this also lasted a whole 5 hours. Overall very good performance, but I’m not into incense woody scents enough to purchase a full bottle. I do see myself using up the sample tho.

...

Amouage Lyric Man
I get a very feminine floral opening, an initial burst of roses, then a more generic green and fresh floral. There’s a...grainy undertone to the floral, as in wheat or oatmeal. The grain note is gaining more prominence and also taking on a plasticy aspect. Kinda like the feel of instant oatmeal compared to steel cut oats. There’s also some musks that I’m smelling after the grains. But the strongest notes are a powdery floral. Perhaps I’m sensitive to musks? Had to scrub this off after an hour since it became nauseating.

...

Amouage Fate Women
Ohhh this is a floral that’s...a bit incense-y, spicy and creamy. There’s also an aromatic top to it that appears a couple of minutes in. The multiple aspects of the scent seems layered. My impression of this is similar to Lyric Women. There’s not much change in the scent for the remainder of time that it lasts on me. I have noticed that I find the vanilla in Amouage scents more pleasing than other scents vanilla. It’s not as cloy, and more like vanilla the plant rather than an ingredient?

I did a side by side with Lyric women and they indeed are similar. The aromatic floral opening is very similar, although then they split into a lightly spiced cream (Fate) and fresh and powerful floral (Lyric). Interestingly I don’t think I’ve smelled this part of Lyric the first time around. Overall, I would like a full bottle of Fate over Lyric, and that’s almost purely because the bottle and outer presentation is gorgeous. But if money and space aren't constraints, I would like full bottles of both.

...

Amouage Journey Woman
Oook the opening is a beautiful soft white floral, I think it’s gardenia? It smells better on the sheerly applied arm versus the concentrated arm, which has a hint of plastic to the floral note. Hmm perhaps the plastic-y note is more like a...diluted stale milk smell? Not like milk gone bad, but definitely not the fresh creamy milk. Maybe a bit like oreo’s filling, tho you have to interpret that as someone who dislikes the filling. I also smell some jasmine joining in the gardenia. There’s not much change after this, aside from the aforementioned 3 notes varying in strength. Longevity is great tho, I can still smell this on me after waking up. Reading the official notes, it seems the plastic-milk note is likely leather, and what I thought was gardenia is likely osmanthus? The other osmanthus centric perfumes I’ve sampled certainly smelled differently, but I do hope this is what osmanthus smells like because it’s much more to my liking. I didn’t get any of the spice, but that may be more apparently if sprayed. Overall this scent smells less complex, and changes less, compared to the other Amouage scents, although its richer than the run of the mill white floral (tho I have a small sample size). I do like most of this scent, but unlikely to purchase a full bottle.

...

Amouage Reflection Man
A very fresh opening, huh. Actually not purely fresh, there’s musk underneath. I also caught a whiff of orange, but that lasted for literally a second. The feeling of walking through an evergreen forest in winter, all bundled up. I’m tempted to say there is also a strong licorice note? After an hour or so, it dries down to warmer woods, tho with a slight aromatic note. The woods then become buried in a powdery note. After reading the official notes, I’m surprised that I didn’t get any of the florals except the powdery iris. I’m not into the musks or licorice-y opening (not sure what I’m actually smelling since the official notes don’t mention them) of this scent, will pass.

With this batch of samples done, I'm finally finished with a first pass through all of my perfume samples. Will be taking a break from trying new scents and observe which samples I actually end up using more. 

adhere

Some food photos that've slipped through the cracks:

The menu said "boneless chicken", which was not a lie, but I struggled with the occasional tendon and cartridge ;o;

Finally made it to Bar Isabel, but Thursday evening is apparently a very busy time so I could only admire the wood ceiling from the outside patio :( Tho my non-alcoholic cocktail was very tasty, it's a very herbal forward drink, which provided a much needed relief under the intense infrared heat lamps.

 Jeff has doing most of the cooking, so it's been a long time since I've made some sichuan dishes.

Neo Cafe opened a second location near me, and holy their roll cakes are actually the best I've ever eaten. The cake is not the usual soft spongecake, but rather a breadier version which works so well. This flavor is pistachio and raspberry, which is a surprisingly good combo.

aged

Its been a while since I fell in love with a teapot at first sight. But this little eggplant style pot from YS is soooo adorable!

Sadly there is zero reason for me to get a new teapot. I barely use any of my existing pots, and I have enough pots that I can assign each one to a type of tea that I usually drink. Overall I do want to avoid being a collector in any of my hobbies (perfumes is another slippery slope).

I guess I'll never understand

Ok I think I'm losing my ability to listen to songs on repeat one and not get tired of them within a couple of days. I revise my choice of favourite song in Peachy!'s new album to this one. The instrumental sections and vocal sections are both superb!


You know I'm trying to see a new side of things
and I need you to go with me
[Scared] and I can't do this alone right now

[Oh no am I] going backwards
[falling] into my emotions
[that] I'll never understand
[Oh well] I think I need to stay up
above my own head
my god why can't we be friends
I guess I'll never understand

But yeah that's how life goes
Dark thoughts they come and go
So we make characters that look like us to feel less alone

I'm sorry, and I wish that
I could be there right now
But you can always reach out
I swear I'll come running
I'm half way across the world
but you can feel my heart
beat to your drum
To me you're not just anyone
Not just anyone

Maybe it's meant to be
that I can be happy
in Southern California
writing these songs about us
And when I'm all alone
my mind plays tricks on me
I don't know if I'm happy
I just know

I'm sorry, and I wish that
I could be there right now
But you can always reach out
I swear I'll come running
I'm half way across the world
but you can feel my heart
beat to your drum
To me you're not just anyone

I'm sorry, and I wish that
I could be there right now
But you can always reach out
I swear I'll come running
I'm half way across the world
but you can feel my heart
beat to your drum
To me you're not just anyone


I tried very hard to note down these lyrics by ear :< and then I searched for lyrics again just in case...and they exist now -_- Words in square brackets are words I did not correctly identify.