ash

Some thoughts that ran through my head in week 2 of break:

I don't know what I expected to find when all the work stress is stripped away? Some intact part to build back up upon? It's like I've trudged the bottom of a pond expecting to find a nice solid concrete slab (or like bedrock at least) but its mud all the way down (as far as I can currently tell). 

Not sure what word to describe the unsettling feeling, maybe like this quotation on an One Piece wallpaper I've had for a long time: "the me sitting here and the image I have of me are out of sync"

Or maybe it feels like I'm holding myself back, to my benefit or detriment no idea. 

Still sorting through insurance stuff. Really not what I want to deal with despite the objectively not that complicated nor involved admin procedures. 

BECK's soundtrack is real comforting. I scrolled through a bunch of older posts to find where I previously posted about it (movie, manga 0 / 1 / 2 / 3) and this quotation from Before Sunrise is also super comforting (the nostalgia that comes with this is a mixed bag tho):

I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.